For Scientific Reasons

A dog parent lined up options on a low shelf and held each one next to a phone photo of their pup’s head. “For scientific reasons,” they said, completely serious. The jumbo banana squishy won the measurement test by half an inch and a lot of soft squeak. They paid like researchers publish findings — quiet confidence, zero shame. Somewhere at home, a dog was about to get an unexplained banana-shaped rival from imizzu.